From Day 1, the "norm" is drilled into us. Finish primary school, aged 11 with great SATs grades. Start secondary school, leave when you're 16 with great GCSEs. Go to college or sixth form and leave when you're 18 with great A-Levels. Go to uni and leave with a great degree when you're 21. Anything that differs from this will be questioned and scrutinised relentlessly.
Which is exactly what happened to me when I decided to repeat college. When I was 16, I was toying between being a Lawyer, a History teacher or and English teacher. So I took these three subjects along with Classical Civilisation with the hope of finding out what path I wanted to be on. But after my first year, I got some not so great results and I was completely miserable. But, determined to try hard, I stayed on at the same college for a second year, something that I regret from time to time.
However, as my peers decided to start their lives at university and were applying and writing personal statements and having interviews, I was lost. Watching everyone else know what they wanted to do with their lives and feeling so helpless about my own was almost heartbreaking. Was there something wrong with me? What was everyone else doing right that I was doing wrong? The answer was, of course, nothing. I'm very much a late bloomer, and this was just another aspect of my life that I was behind in.
I realised that I couldn't sit around and do nothing once I'd left college, and the idea of a full time job didn't seem too appealing to me. So I gave it a long hard thought, that actually took me a few months, before deciding that I wanted to repeat college. Two more years, but at a different college taking different subjects. I've always had an interest in photography and I slowly began to realise that it was a realistic job prospect, all I had to do was get there.
So I applied, had an interview and got my place, all the usual things. And when it came around to starting last year, I was incredibly nervous. Meeting new people seemed terrifying and being in a college much bigger than my last was quite daunting. Luckily, I knew some people there already, and I've also met some amazing people along the way. But soon enough I fell into the routine and I'm much happier than before.
Watching my friends move on to bigger and better things while I was still stuck in the same rut was, and still is, hard. But I wouldn't change my decision for the world. When I left my first college, I came out with terrible results and no chance of taking a degree. But after just one year at my new college I achieved my first A grade in two years, which was insane. And now I have a realistic chance of getting into a university of my choice and living my life constantly attached to my camera, which I am so excited for.
I guess the meaning of this post is to share my experience of not following what is drilled into you. The plenty of people find that A Levels or further study in general isn't for them, and it's never too late to change your mind. I'm definitely of the opinion that choosing your life path at 16, 17, 18 is far too much pressure and teenagers aren't always sure what they want. But there is always an option. And while I am currently 2 years older than those in my class, and a year or two behind those my age, I don't care. I am finally in the right place and it was the right choice for me.
